100 Ways Some Jamaicans Will Say: Friend

The Merriam Webster Dictionary online defines friend:

One attached to another by affection or esteem.

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On observation, the word friend by itself lacks strength in the eyes of some Jamaicans. It has to be embellished with the use of other words to bring out its wanted flavor which are at times too descriptive, and explicit. To describe the situation in local term, the island of Jamaica on a daily basis enjoys keeping up almshouse with adjectives. There is no telling of time and place for them to be used. A day hardly goes by in which I haven’t recalled my Jamaican culture or even parts of it that innocently entertains adjectives. Sometimes I am amazed, astonished, joyful, proud, pleased, ashamed, accepting, and happy. I smile, wonder, ponder, lament, and laugh uncontrollably.

I often say to myself that most of what we see and embrace as culture are not document worthy and never were from the beginning. Instead they are idle gestures, bouts of boredom, and a lack of proper discipline and grooming among some of our people. Culture is unique but within a set culture there is bound to be individuality. Interference. Altering. People from all walks of life sometimes joke about things and people which will somehow find way into our various cultures. However, if we listened to some of the jokes we would come to an agreement that they are boldface insults to dismantle, tarnish and destroy,

Jamaicans, myself included, are pinpointed as being jovial by nature because of our ability to quickly overcome adversities in a remarkable manner.  An outsider getting to know us will somehow sense that we do not mean harm when we highlight, introduce or mention about our friends with names other than their given names. The descriptions are used to distinguish relationships within the friend-category. They are also used to set boundaries, and accuracy. More importantly, to keep a person's name private. Doing otherwise could lead to personal confrontations, especially if a conversation entails gossip. By the same token, I will not downplay the fact that most handles, labels, and even nicknames used by some Jamaicans are coarse, vulgar, insensitive, difficult, mean spirited, offensive, hypocritical, and anatomy shaming. 

Having said all of that, I have captured, to the best of my ability, 100 ways some Jamaicans will say: friend. 

1. Friend    

2. Good friend 

3. Bad friend 

4. A friend of mine 

5. Sumady friend (someone’s friend)

6. Facebook friend Social Media friend 

7. Church friend

8. School friend 

9. Pub/Bar friend  

10. Gambling friend 

11. Gym friend 

12. Work friend

13. Friend from ovah de suh (friend from over there)  

14. Friend from ovah yasso (friend from over here)

15. Friend from up the road 

16. Friend from down the road 

17. Friend from foreign 

18. Now and again friend 

19. Thieving friend 

20. Beggie-beggie friend (friend who begs all the time)

21. Friend from country 

22. Friend from town 

23. User friend 

24. Push-up friend (social butterfly friend)

25. Liad friend (liar friend)

26. Wicked friend 

27. Heathen friend 

28. Christian friend 

29. Doctor friend 

30. Nurse friend 

31. Lawyer friend 

32. Mechanic friend 

33. Pilot friend 

34. Lazy friend 

35. Sick friend 

36. Crazy friend 

37. Mad friend 

38. Obeah worker friend 

39. Big mouth friend 

40. Big head friend 

41. Mawga friend (meager friend)

42. Big nose friend 

43. Gay friend

44. Lesbian friend

45. Hard ears friend (stubborn friend)

46. Joker friend

47. Follow fashion friend

48. Fake friend

49. Bad mind friend

50. Police friend

51. Soldier friend

52. Driver friend

53. Politician friend

54. Capital K knee friend (knock knee friend)

55. Turn foot friend (heels in toes out friend)

56. Big teeth friend

57. Stink mouth friend

58. Bookworm friend

59. Fifth columnist friend

60. Fair weather friend

61. Big ears friend

62. Farmer friend

63. Selfish friend

64. Greedy friend

65. Big belly friend

66. Big bottom friend

67. Narrow bottom friend

68. Flat bottom friend

69. Gossip Friend

70. Dry head friend

71. Long hair friend

72. Curly hair friend

73. Brown skin friend

74. Black friend

75. White friend

76. Indian friend

77. Chinese friend

78. Langoo la la friend (lanky friend)

79. Womanizing friend

80. Teacher friend

81. Pastor friend

82. Samfie friend (tricky friend)

83. Con artist friend

84. Busy body friend

85. Rotten teeth friend

86. Mash mouth friend (no teeth friend)

87. Dancy dancy friend (friend who loves to dance)

88. Man thief friend ( a female relationship wrecker)

89. Intelligent friend 

90. Big pumpum friend (big vagina friend)

91. Big wood friend (big penis friend)

92. Love fi dweet friend (friend who wants sex often)

93. Respectable friend

94. Nice friend

95. Cobich friend (frugal friend)

96. Love spend money friend (spendthrift friend)

97. Ride or die friend (loyal friend)

98. Bench and batty friend (close friend)

99. Judas friend (betraying friend)

100. Peacemaker friend 

Tah-tah! Inasmuch as friends will sometimes disappoint each other,

never give up on having a friend. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2024

Get To The Point. No Dilly-Dally.

A quick Google search to find the meaning of the word point led to the Merriam Webster Dictionary. Here are a few definitions: an individual detail, a distinguishing detail, the most important essential in a discussion or matter, an end or object to be achieved, a particular place.

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Technology is on the move. It’s here to bamboozle and trick the devil out of us. We now find ourselves in a world where information is easily accessible, and where people are left to research things for themselves. Having fewer and shorter conversations with real people. 

There is a trend which has caught on in this world of confusion, learning and unlearning. People are  direct and deliberate in sharing words and sentences in the shortest time and manner. They abbreviate almost everything that they care to share or say: LOL, OMG, WTF, BFF, LMAO, YOLO, IRL, DWL, and many more. Some of us will struggle with their meanings while others find them to be a breeze. Easy!

In days gone by a visit by a family friend or relatives, led to conversations that were engaging and interesting. They were never eager to end the conversations. Conversations had a right to run their course even as one topic led to the next. Talkative people were never referred to as long winded. As a matter of fact to some of us they were viewed as intelligent, and had the gift of gaining the attention of their audiences. We were keen on hearing all details even if it required two days to do so.

Fast forward to today, everything has become microwave or minimal. Products have become mediocre and are of poor quality. Listening to the details of a conversation has become difficult. Some people are easily bored by details and explanations. They yawn often and twist and turn their bodies, becoming fidgety and nonparticipating. While it remains the right of a human to receive contents in whatever way or however little they want, the behavior, to some people, is no doubt viewed as disrespectful.

It’s the twenty-first century and each day as the years go by, I have observed that most people are more interested in the beginning and climax of a conversation than the middle. Busy people, especially, who fancy the statement “time is money”, would rather have an individual get to the point as fast as they can, in any matter or conversations. It is with hope that busy people will figure out the details, which can be of ultimate importance.

Tah-tah!  Keep conversations short, and to the point. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2024

How You Wear Your Lipstick Is Your Own Personal Preference

A Google search on the definition of lipstick is: Colored cosmetics applied to the lips from a small solid stick.

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There are many shades of lipstick, some of which are with the pastels and darker groups. However, none is quite as popular and controversial as red.  And it doesn’t matter if it’s cherry red, wine red, apple red, burgundy red, brick red, or red red, the fact remains that red is the most smooched and smacked.

Secret despise for lipstick

In everything promising, there can be dislikes, like and love. Or, even setbacks and disappointments. There are definitely some ladies who are not fond of lipsticks. Some see lipstick wearing as ungodly, secular, seductive and vulgar. On the other hand some men despise lipstick for what they see as a good reason. And it’s not that they are God fearing. They are mostly the cheaters and adulterers in society. Because on close contact with a wearer, lipstick stains can be telling.

Lip size, shape, and cupid’s bow

Some lips are thin, some are full, and some are pursed. Observing all the lips, there are some that are full on the bottom and none showing on the top. Nevertheless, lipsticks of all shades are applied to those lips by lovers of lipstick. A toothy smile will at times reveal that a touch of lipstick goes beyond the lips.

The people with a pronounced cupid’s bow sometimes ignore the details when applying their lipsticks. One straight line from one corner of the lip to the next is all that matters.  No highlighting of curves and dips. 

Lipstick enhances beauty

For some people, lipstick is the sole and perfect cosmetic or makeup to enhance beauty. Lipstick is the sun of the face. It grabs attention. 

Various ways to wear lipstick

A person has a right to choose. And the lipstick wearer is no different. They are free to wear their lipsticks anyhow, anytime, anywhere.  The lips have been a canvas for eons. These days the methodical applications of the lipstick seem to be chasing a path with technology. Some people have become creative and are wearing lipsticks to present a checkered look. Some people section their lips and apply different shades of lipsticks.  Any fashion or style that floats their boat is welcome and amazing. 

Lipstick on the bottom lip only

More baby boomers are staying away from the old and popular belief that it's classy to apply lipstick to the bottom lip only. This long time hand-me-down rule must have been instituted by the female tea drinkers who wore pillbox hats, and lace or satin gloves to garden parties.  Especially the ones who drank from their cups with the pinkies sticking out. LOL. It's a hearty laugh from me. Having freed myself from such a rule is rewarding. I have two lips, one mouth, and I am all about plastering my two lips with some hot red lipstick, my favorite among all the other colors.

So, how are you wearing your lipstick? 

Tah-tah!  The choice is yours. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2023

Go To H E 2 Sticks and H To The No...Generation Principles In Tow

Mirriam-Webster Dictionary online defines hell as: a nether world in which the dead continue to exist : Hades | the nether realm of the devil and the demons in which condemned people suffer everlasting punishment often used in curses | or as a generalized term of abuse | a place or state of misery, torment, or wickedness | a place or state of turmoil or destruction | a severe scolding | unrestrained fun or sportiveness | an extremely unpleasant and often inescapable situation.

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What the hell! The definition of hell seems to have no end to it. And so are the debates about its location.  Theologians, pastors, congregants and even the inebriated speak about hell in an everlasting manner. Hell, according to them, is the ultimate punishment for disobedient people. People will be cast into a lake of fire if bios are not up to scratch in God’s sight. Even the tiniest theft can qualify one for a spot in hell. Take time to recall the many times, at home, you stole syrup from the bottle in the cabinet and then replace the amount you stole with water. All done to trick your parents into believing that the syrup had remained untouched. But before we all panic about going to hell, we must first find out if hell really exists outside of the daily hardships that we experience.

The word hell used in different ways

Hell is a popular and convenient word for some people. They are hooked on using it. A person will use it to express their mood, likes and current situation such as: I am going through hell. I am having a hell of a time trying to study.  I look like hell.  I like the hell out of that dress she is wearing. The manager at work is giving me hell. To hell with Jack if he doesn’t understand what I mean. And there are times when few people will use the word hell to threaten others. For example: It will be hell to play if I don’t get paid the full amount owed to me. Also, some people will boldly tell others that they are ugly like hell.  Among all the hell talks, I have observed the selective behavior of the christian person. Hell only becomes a part of their language when the topic is about God. I speculate that because of the information given about the reputation of hell and its fiery lake, Christians have refrained from using it otherwise. Hell is just hell. All words can be used to represent good no matter how filthy they are. However, if it’s one's desire to spend eternity in heaven with God, it's best to abandon hell and it's attractions. Because I am sure some people will want to arrive in heaven with squeaky clean mouths. Mint fresh and righteous.

The fear of the word hell

Looking back over the years, for as long as I can recall, hell has lived up to its qualities. It’s a hellish word. Fiery! It’s a taboo word. It’s a curse word. I recall as a child the adults around would reprimand any child who uttered the word hell. The adults too were afraid to let it escape them in the presence of peers and children. They feared hell more than they feared God. Spelling the word hell was a better choice to them. And here’s how they would spell it and use it if they were angry with someone: Go to h-e-2 sticks! Although that is the situation, there are times when hell is viewed as a darling word by the people reporting about the great time that they had at an event or on a romantic date. From their lips to their audience, but certainly not God's ear, they joyfully say: I had a hell of a time. 

Hell used as a curse word

Mind your manners with the word hell.  And it doesn’t matter the generation. It’s just one of those words that gives the creeps. I am a Baby Boomer and I grew up knowing that it can also be a curse word.  My parents generation knew that too. People obviously feared using it as a curse word rather than its connection with fire.  We are now in the 21st century and if anyone is in disbelief that it's a curse word, just listen to the now generation and how they incorporate it into what they have to say. They also fear pronouncing it.  All the generations after Baby Boomers are in fear of saying this word aloud. Unlike Baby Boomers the later generations are not into writing out words. They are true minimalists in all they do. Less is best. They embrace acronyms, especially: WTF, OMG, LOL IDC, and  YOLO. So it would be difficult for them to write the word hell in full. Their style is H (hell). And when they are in a defiant state they will write or say: H To The No.  Whereas, Baby Boomers remain committed to: h-e-2 sticks (hell).

Hell, yes! 

Tah-tah!  Respect the respect legacies.

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2023

104 Year-Old Ms. Adlyn’s Secret For Longevity: Eating Good Yams, Praying and Believing In God

A google search revealed a few definitions for the word age. Here are two: 1). One of the stages of life. 2). The length of an existence extending from the beginning to any given time.

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I have heard about people living beyond 100 years of age but to personally know one brings me joy and honor. So on the morning of June 2, 2023, it was befitting of me to telephone Ms. Adlyn, and wish her a Happy 104 Birthday. Her voice was chirpy. And in that moment, I couldn’t evade my thoughts of the John Chewit birds roaming the village of Grass Piece on the island of Jamaica. Hearing Ms. Adlyn’s voice in that chirpy manner was the overture to my day. And adding to that, I do believe that the sweet chirps and melodies of birds set the tone for the day ahead.

Ms. Adlyn’s Secret For Longevity 

Immediately after conveying my birthday greeting to Ms. Adlyn, the first thing I extracted from her was her secret for longevity. And without hesitation she expressed that it is her strong belief in God, praying, and eating the good yams. And I had no doubt to disbelieve her. Because I have had my own experiences with yams over the years. She mentioned a few yams: yellow, St. Vincent, taw/toi, mozilla, white, negro, renta and yampie. The yellow yam over the years has been her favorite, revealing how nice it is. In a nutshell Ms. Adlyn implied that eating the right foods are conducive to good health. And I certainly endorse that without hesitation.

 

Place Of Birth 

Ms. Adlyn Bernard-Smith who hails from the island of Jamaica, currently resides in the United States of America. She was born June 2, 1919 in Mons District, Maidstone P.O. which is located in the Don Figuerero Mountains and in the parish of Manchester. In some instances the spelling of this mountain is written as “Don Figueroa Mountains”. People have battled over the spellings but one thing they cannot battle about is the physical appearance of the mountains: verdant, cool, tranquil, and mesmerizing. Somewhere in history the mountains in the Maidstone area were referred to as maidens’ breasts because of their shapes. The mountains remain a farmer’s delight or even to the random mongoose dashing across a path without warning.

Member of Nazareth Moravian Church 

While Ms. Adlyn lived in Jamaica, she was an ardent church goer and a member of the Nazareth Moravian Church. And to this day, I cannot understand why boys and girls didn’t sit together. Boys sat in pews on one side of the aisle and girls on the other. 

I recall Ms. Adlyn’s leadership role at church within the women’s fellowship group. She was extremely dedicated to the cause. She also helped to prepare the Holy Communion table. And God forbid the tough love that was hurled at the ladies who weren’t dressed properly to receive communion. They were expected to be dressed in white, looking like a band of angels. People back in the day swore that white was synonymous with angels, pure and holy. I too was a part of that band of angels. I went into the throng at age 14 more so to experience bread and wine. Looking back I had no clue what I was doing. At this point, I just want to make it clear that the onus to discipline the communion-ladies didn’t only rest with Ms. Adlyn. There were other prominent church members who were tasked to reprimand and counsel those who had fallen out of line, regarding the rules for Holy Communion.

Behavior 

The Moravian Church was a stickler for education.  The schools they governed stood as testimonies. The Nazareth Primary School was one such school. And believe it or not, Ms. Adlyn was one of the community members who sat on the parent-teacher board. The Moravians were also adamant about cultivating good discipline and manners. And frankly when it comes to that there were many people at church and within the community who watched us like a hawk, ready to swoop down on us and give us a good scolding. This reminds me of the saying: It takes a village to raise a child.

Hats

At church, Ms. Adlyn wore many hats, pun intended. She sang in the choir and she taught Sunday School. She was one of the ladies who had the authority to handle the girls who noisily rolled out sweetie/candy from its wrapper or misbehaved in any other way. A child caught taking a nap during worship would be interrupted because such relaxation was viewed as poor conduct. The expected practice at church is: people gather in the house of the Lord to worship and not sleep and snore. Furthermore, sometimes children break wind as the body relaxes, and as children our first reaction is to giggle. So it’s not hard to figure what happened at church in those moments of disturbance.

I still laugh about such occurrences and wonder how Ms. Adlyn and the other women of strong faith had kept a straight face during the mini explosions. And the truth is such situations always take place when the church is dead silent, except for the minister’s voice from the pulpit. In all of that, one thing that was guaranteed to keep us under control, and that was a stern look. It has been categorized as a nonverbal reprimand. And by all accounts it was used by Ms. Adlyn and others. In those days a misbehaved child responded well to a stern look. It made us cower, be on our Ps and Qs. Because although we were children, whenever the stern voice of an adult was directed at us it had us feeling embarrassed. To wag the index finger at a naughty child was also an effective nonverbal reprimand. 

Punishment 

At church, there were times when the stern stares directed at a fidgety child: boy or girl, lacked acceptance. In short the child is a repeat offender. So the best way to handle that child was to remove them from their seat and place them in full view of a female or male helper, for the remainder of the worship exercise. And to clarify the label “helper” as was used in the Moravian Church, when I compare it with the labels used in other denominations, the female helper is a deaconess and the male a deacon. In my adult life misbehaving moments, I refer to them as pastors’ bouncers.

Seamstress

The 104 year old Ms. Adlyn was a self employed seamstress. She custom designed garments on request. Customers told her the styles they desired or wanted and she delivered to their joy and gratitude. I will always remember the church dresses, and dresses that we called frocks, and school uniforms she had sewn for my sisters and I. We wore them until they became dusting cloth, rags, doormats, knee rests, bedding for bed wetters, and rubbing-cloth to shine the floors. That’s what we did back in the day. We recycled items in our own way. 

Ms. Adlyn's Children

Ms. Adlyn is the mother of four beautiful and well mannered children: three daughters and one son. The girls are Pauline, Lina and Jacqueline. Ms. Adlyn’s son, Howard Dunkley, was my brother. We shared the same father. Sadly, Howard died in 2004 from the effects of Hurricane Ivan. We miss him, dearly. And guess what; he was a farmer of humble means who produced the best eating yams. GOOD YAMS! 

Faculties Intact 

Ms. Adlyn remains a respected citizen of the Maidstone community and surrounding villages in Jamaica. The same has been said of her where she resides in the United States of America. Those of us who have had recent conversations with Ms. Adlyn will readily admit that she still has all her faculties intact. Her wealth of knowledge is massive. She also has a great sense of humor. She joins in bible study and prayer meetings with her family and others via zoom. She does her search for word puzzle every day. And it's important to her to watch the news reports. She is also a fan of Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court. Ms. Adlyn at this point has become an inspiration and more to many of us.

Happy birthday Ms. Adlyn! May you continue to prosper and glow.

Tah-tah!  Longevity is a privilege denied to many. Therefore enjoy each moment as they come. They are precious.

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2023