Thursday, September 30, 2021

Do You Use The Bible As A Safety Deposit Box And Nemesis Holder?

The simplest definition for the Bible is a book. It is a sacred book for Christians and as a result many have labeled it “the good book”.


The bible has been a controversial book for eons. Understanding its literature and dynamics is as difficult as saying the names of some of the characters and places mentioned in it. Hence, if someone should strongly engage me in a bible discussion, I quickly sit aside with sealed lips. And frankly I don’t know if there will be an end to doubts about the bible as bits and pieces of new information become available. For example, the most popular talk is that Jesus was black and not white as portrayed in the pictures that have become a masterpiece in most homes. Some people have even engaged in fist fights discussing the information in the Bible. And may the Lord have mercy on the person who writes the name God with a common or lowercase “g”. That would be the epitome of disrespect which warrants a rebuke.

By religious teachings, defacing the bible in any way is not acceptable. It’s a holy book which should be handled with reverence and utmost care. It's not a thoroughfare like the public toilet walls where culprits will scribble: Sit because crab louse can jump 12 feet high. The elders back in the day were enticed by the high standard of the bible. They made use of any available blank pages and inside covers because they found it to be the most suitable and secured place to record birth, baptism, marriage and death within the family. Sometimes they even had the audacity to use it as a deposit box, stashing away legal tender notes for rainy days or emergencies. The easy access to family information made the bible a treasured book and because of that special attention in its handling became necessary. But curiosity over a period of time caused most bibles to suffer physical decline. Even in their poor condition they were kept and not discarded because to do so would have been a sinful act. Modern times and a paperless society have broken the habit of using the bible for record keeping. People have now turned to electronic gadgets to record important information.

But before setting the paper bible aside, perhaps there are other uses. It has been referred to as a weapon. And to determine that, social media sometimes exhibits the traits of anything imaginary and unimaginable. It is a force to be reckoned with. To give an idea: Two people were engaged in a war of words and revelation of character. One accused the other of being evil because it was discovered that the alleged evil person had written the name of a friend in a personal bible. The belief is that it was an apparent bid to dispense failure. It is no secret that most people have eyed the book of Psalm with fear and as I watched the video Live I wondered if the Psalm was used. David was a bad-ass who slew Goliath and the thought that David wrote most of the Psalm left me to ponder a trail of destruction by association. The bible injected fear in me when I was a child. It was a difficult time trying not to slip out of line with neither God nor my parents. Regarding the social media incident I am of the belief that a person who is challenged by the ability of a friend will sometimes see the friend as a nemesis. Justice will be to chant a Psalm for protection. Or, according to the Jamaican street language “bun a Psalm pan dem”.

Tah-tah! Do not cast judgement without facts. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2021


Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Shitting Cloud...The Malady In Yesteryear

One definition of cloud is: a visible mass of condensed water floating in the atmosphere, typically high above the ground. ____________________________________________

An idle glance at the sky will sometimes give more than one reason to do a double take. After much patronage, I see it as a canvas on which clouds create beautiful abstracts. The time of the day, behavior of the weather, appearance of the sun, moon and stars are not prerequisites for me to peruse the firmament. I can at any desired point look and adjust focus from amazement to wonder. Sometimes with much perplexity too. 

On many occasions I have peered from the window of an airplane, while in flight, to scan the chunks of clouds. A grand exhibition. Some were clusters of cotton balls, animals, humans and a spectacular display of Mount Rushmore with carved images of four past Presidents of the United States of America. Clouds are peculiar and elusive. Nonetheless, quick action and the use of a camera enable one to capture what is seen in the moment. And it serves as great evidence for people who are with the eyes and mind of an artist. Interestingly, the cloud formation of sheep and the picture which portrayed Jesus during my childhood, were frequent and the boldest of all the illusions. If the sky is where God is, then by all means it warrants heavenly thoughts and figures. 

The beauty and the fanfare of the clouds in the sky, does not set aside the behavior of the elders who lived back in the day. They were skilled at reading the sky and its attributes. By doing so, they were able to announce rain, storm, time to sow crops, time to reap crops, fish catching season, sea-travel and the time of the day. Even more fascinating the elders had the ability to scrutinize illnesses, and then matched and named them from the things they saw in their environment.

Inasmuch as the elders had no formal training in the field of medicine, it was commendable to know they were capable of providing remedies and names for illnesses. But none quite as stirring as the name “shitting cloud”, a skin condition which seldom went unnoticed. The face and neck were the areas it mostly attacked. The relevance to fecal matter might be vulgar to some people but that was the way the elders operated. At least the ones I knew. They were blunt. They used statements that were simple, quick and easy to comprehend. Impeccable work. I admired their wisdom and rectitude. The twenty-first century has arrived and I still find all the information those elders provided and shared, during their time, useful and interesting. 

I have never followed up on any new information for “shitting cloud”; with the exception that at some point in time, few people referred to it as “liver spots”. By now researchers or scientists should have found the official name, or medical terminology for “shitting cloud”. Perhaps it is truthfully named “liver spots”. I don’t know.  Besides that, I wouldn’t be surprised if a great amount of people will begin to look at the sky with new and renewed interests. And find for themselves the relevance of linking feces with clouds to name a malady. Chances are they may say to themselves, the elders were smart but naughty and ungodly. Contrary to such analysis, the elders’ works in those days were within rights and with good judgement. And all done in the name of self-help and home remedy.

Tah-tah! Simple methods can produce brilliant work and production. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2021

Friday, April 30, 2021

Is Love An Abstract?

I love you once

I love you twice

I love you next to Jesus Christ 


I always release raucous laughter whenever I recite the above-mentioned verse. It was a verse known and fancied by most children throughout childhood. To the adults, especially the god fearing ones it was a blasphemous verse. We were taking the Lord’s name in vain. But how could that be? There was nothing else to measure our love against except the few times we decided to share a fried dumpling or sweetie (candy). Those two items were topnotch to children in those times. Treasured as much as salt was centuries ago. Not easily given away. Perhaps that was the ultimate love. Kindness. Sharing.

I am here sitting and writing, without rehearsing anything about love in my head. At this moment in time I am just going with the flow of thoughts. In the end it may be a rant, wisdom or nonsense. Back in the day we used a plant we referred to as “love bush/love weed” to find out if the person we thought we were in love with was also in love with us. That plant is called the dodder. So here’s what we did: we gathered a handful of dodder and threw it at a desired spot. We then spat on it and whispered the person’s name. If the dodder grew in abundance it meant that the person was in love with us. But here’s the truth, the dodder would never die because it’s a parasite.  Any itsy bitsy piece will grow. 

Many decades have gone by since the dodder experiment and I am still confused about the definition of love. I have heard about: strong love, divine love, ultimate love, love like a lizard lying on a tree limb, love like how flies swarm honey, love like ripe mango, love that will leave someone tongue-tied, love until one becomes a fool for love, love to the moon and back, unrequited love, love on hold, sour love, platonic, intimate, romantic and more. The most frightening love to me is when a man says to a woman that the only way he can prove his love to her, is to have her engage in sexual intercourse with him. What kind of love is that? Is it a crash course in making little feet? Or, is it just a letting off of backed up desires. Love is a verb. So perhaps many have taken it literally to its core.

The decision is, whenever love is determined, please let me know if the definition lies in the growth of the dodder and its flaming color. Or, the phallic. Or, if it is an abstract.

Tah-tah! I see what I see. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2021 

Sunday, February 14, 2021

My Long Bamboo My Valentine Bamboo My Holland Bamboo


Do you have a go for Valentine’s Day?  Or, is it just another day for vendors and merchants to beckon you to sample their goods? Valentine’s Day seems to be up to us these days to define love in many ways. 


Evergreen! Ever nourished! Turgid! Rings and grooves! Erect! Long bamboo! It's a Valentine bamboo love fest. Solid as a rock like the little island in the Caribbean named Jamaica.  I looked around my dwelling at my bamboo plants. I then approached my favorite, stroked it and said, Honey, it’s Valentine’s Day! What shall I do with myself? Trapped inside by COVID-19 restrictions I wished there was somewhere to go and have fun. And perhaps if I decided to become a law breaker and find a place where there is fun, it would be guaranteed that I would be the only one to get caught, arrested. So the best thing to do is stay home: cook, eat, drink, be merry and enjoy my bamboo plants in my apartment. Of all the bamboo plants, I always admire the one seen in the picture more than the others. At its pinnacle it has three shoots. Three heads, I would say, which from a christian perspective could be in sync with the trinity: God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost. 

Nonetheless as Valentine’s Day festered, a nostalgic mood overcame me sweeping away the thoughts of the trinity. My love for nature helped to eradicate anything further.  And more so the many uses of bamboo. And on Valentine's Day, there is no better place to find a good and enticing look at bamboo than Jamaica. It is the home of Holland Bamboo, a very beautiful tourist attraction in the Parish of St. Elizabeth. It’s located on one of the main roads. Driving through that stretch of clustered arch of bamboo allures the mind to invite romance. A pitch of matrimonial calling. It provokes and invokes love of all sorts to arrest the soul and free it from stress. 

If I have never been a cheater in my life, here on Valentine’s Day, in this crippling season of COVID-19 I have petitioned in my mind to be one. I am somewhere in North America with my long bamboo placed in a plastic water bottle but my mind is on Holland Bamboo, Jamaica, a little island in the Caribbean dubbed: The Rock. Little Paradise. 

Tah-tah! Love is love. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2021

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

No 2020 Rejects Allowed At 2021...Wishful Thinking

 “But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.” - 2 Peter 2:22


There is a place for rejects, handled by a quality control officer. Things that are not fit for human consumption are discarded. Thrown away. Burnt. So are items with imperfections. Even among the finest china. All of that sounds good. It is honest behavior. Fairness towards consumers. And courts healthy living. On the other hand it has been said time and time again that One man’s garbage is another man’s wealth. And that is true because some people do make a living and a substantial one from items that are no longer useful to others. Garbage bins are hustled and harassed daily with the hope that something good will manifest from finds.

But inasmuch as garbage business can yield happiness, how deceptive are the people who operate such a business? What unhealthy conditions were the items in when discovered? Foods with expired dates, a broken dish, broken furniture, a puked garment, a handbag which contained a shitty nappy and a nose rag...just to name a few. Is the pursuit scary? And with the age or recycling in our midst who can fault the seekers of garbage. Behold all things of a broken and contrite look have become new again. Washed, cooked, polished, painted, glued. Brand new second hand according to the phrase.

Rejects come in many forms, not only the ones in disposal units. Reject sickness, covetousness, bantering...especially dancehall bantering based off alleged obeah/mystic, malicious gossip, poverty, stress, selfishness, unkind acts, scamming, crooks, corruption, bad leaders, infidelity, bad men and women of the cloth, bad mind, bad men and women of the law enforcement, disorderly citizens, biased media, dutty politics, pedophiles, evildoers, bullies, unfair employers, dishonest employees, control freaks, liars, rude and obnoxious beggars and the list goes on and on. The wish is not to encounter any rejects or hold them as trophies. Unfortunately the human mind is a powerful mechanism. Different in views and behaviors. Sometimes we quickly gather back the things we cast away as rejects, finding it hard to let go of them even when we know that they are not good for us. Is there comfort in having a relationship with things that maul us?  Is there sweet pleasure?

The year 2020 came with many rejects but the most disturbing was the sudden and grand entrance of COVID-19.  A virago. A glutton. A ruffian. My greatest desire for the year 2021 is to see this monster remain in 2020 but like a trail of toilet paper it is expected to piggyback on to 2021 according to the biggies in the science, bat world and big pharma. In God we trust and hope for all things great and of good report for 2021. Follow instructions. According to my Jamaican Granny “If fish comes from the river bottom and tells you that shark is down there, believe it”. There is no time to look into a crystal ball to see if by chance biggies have the handle and peons have the blade. Wear masks. Be safe.

Tah-tah! Keep hope alive. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2020

Monday, November 30, 2020

My 2020 Experience With Onion In Bed

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” - Hebrews 13:5 NKVJ (New King James Version)


I have had a close relationship with the onion for many years, much closer than its relatives: garlic, chives and scallions. The onion is a bumptious vegetable yet I can't seem to let it go. It releases a strong odor which makes me cry the minute I undress it and slice its succulent body. No doubt it’s a defense mechanism against interference. Yet, I continue to eagerly undress it and don’t know when I will stop. If to undress an onion becomes a crime, perhaps I would be first in line to be charged for bodily harm and devouring. And even if I was not seen attacking the onion on account of culinary necessity, my foul breath after partaking of it would be a dead give away. The onion is characterized as an unpleasant odor yet it enhances the flavor of foods in an irresistible manner. Tasteful. Delicious. Gourmet. It’s easy to become a repeat offender.

Besides cooking up the sweetest storms in the kitchen with some help from onions, it is said that they also have powerful medicinal uses. And in the superstitious world it has been mentioned that sliced onions strategically placed in one’s dwelling can heal the sick or keep evil spirits away. To be truthful the only bond I have had with onions is to eat them, raw or cooked. And then I'm sure to mask my intolerable breath with a peppermint candy before someone refers to me as “onion breath”. But what the heck, labeling me onion breath would be trivial compared to the destructive COVID-19.  2020 will always be known as a disastrous year. COVID-19 surfaced and quickly became a pandemic. Mother earth ravished. The fear of the pandemic, to be free from it or prevent it from attacking, forced many people to return to self-help and home remedies. Onions, bushes, orange peels, limes, lemons,  turmeric, ginger, thyme. You name it, anything that is a cooking ingredient inside our homes have now been touted as medicines. The pharmaceutical top-guns must be irate, frothing at the corners of their mouths, that some people in society have the audacity to side step their products and opt for the simple things in our fields and gardens. Hearing about and seeing the deadly behavior of COVID-19, to survive is a big deal. Symptoms or not. It’s all about protection and to still fear. And social media members posted a lot of remedies; too many to try. I have my doubts about some and still do. In times like this there are a few people who take pleasure in exercising their selfish minds and ways. They will piggyback with fake information. 

COVID-19 doesn’t discriminate. I do not disrespect science and our scientists. It’s a new virus to them. Until the scientists put one and one together I decided to try an onion recipe as protection. I prepared it one night in June and before going to bed I strapped sliced and diced pieces of an onion to my chest (this was recommended). I then placed some on my body where it wasn’t recommended: feet, under my breast, around my waistline, and I folded some in a paper towel and placed it in my underwear. I had a good laugh at the item which reminded me of adolescence and hoped it was properly secured to prevent scorching. I then said my prayers and waited for sleep. By morning time, I awoke and was collecting bits and pieces of onions that had escaped from their hold. I chuckled at the mess and onion scented bed sheets all in the name of protection from COVID-19.

My grandchildren were awake in their bedroom so I went in to say good morning. Few seconds after entering, the oldest of the three eased herself up in bed and rested on one elbow.  “I smell guacamole”, she said, piercing me with a steady gaze. I sniffed the air, agreed that I did smell guacamole and then quickly left the bedroom, holding back a laugh. That day she was a magnet. A sleuth. A sniffer dog in law enforcement. Anywhere I went she followed me as if I were a suspect. Guilty of a crime. Guilty of harboring guacamole. Her following me around the greater part of the day and talking about the guacamole odor was a dead give away that she had told her parents about it. Eventually, seeing how hard she was working to prove herself right, I admitted that I had slept with slices of an onion the night before as a protection from COVID-19. The minute I released the information, she laughed and said, “Grandma, I knew I smelled guacamole. I knew it”.  She then ran to tell her parents that I had slept with onion slices strapped to my body. 

Tah-tah! Nothing tried. Nothing done. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2020

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

It’s Over, English Language...Galang Wid Your Words and Grammar


If I were to define grammar, I would say it is the rules and words which embody sentence structure.


The words corrupt and dysfunctional come to mind when I take a look at the English Language. Except for the linguist who toils over its root words to find the correct baby father, baby mother, siblings, relatives and bloodline, everyone else should at some moment in time show anger and frustration. Inasmuch as Standard English/English is my first language, I would not say that I am a clipper at it. One thing I know I can attest to is the fact that I can switch gears quickly between it and my Jamaican dialect. To bamboozle and feel fancy I will sometimes even do a blend of both languages as seen in the title of this essay. Before going further let me translate it: It’s Over, English Language...Go Away With Your Words and Grammar


Oftentimes I have heard others express that the English language is the most difficult language on the face of the earth. Confusing! And this is especially the case when it comes to tenses, singular vs plural, words that sound alike and of course punctuation marks. They are considered biggies and should not be overlooked. Do grammarians ever get tired of patrolling articles to see if they are properly written? And what if they are not grammatically correct but are strong in regards to the gist and logic? Clear understanding. Will the owners of such articles be taken to St. Peter’s gate? Perhaps it would be of benefit to listen to the information shared in those essays rather than to criticize the possessive ‘s not positioned in its proper place or when it represents "it is" and not "its". Or, the mixups between "you’re" and "your" and "there" and "their". And the list goes on and on including the conjunction I used at the start of this sentence. But, there goes another conjunction to start this sentence, after being whipped and reprimanded at school back in the day for using conjunctions to start a sentence; today in the 21st century this bad habit appears to be officially acceptable. Adversely, are the adverbs too, such as the one I used to start this sentence.



Curiosity at some point in time led me to search for the root words of a couple English words. In doing so I came across something very interesting. It triggered my mischievous streak as I processed the newfound knowledge: Scriptio Continua was a common way of writing text in Ancient Greece. There were no spaces or punctuation between words. Itwascontinuouswritingnoperiodsnocommas. Hahaaa I love this! Such fun days would have been a nightmare to the modern day grammarian. Hocus Pocus! 


At the end of the day regardless of who we are or where we are, every Jackman should adhere to rules. And in this case the focus is on the rules of English Language grammar.  However, there are times when certain rules warrant looking into. I often think about the singular and plural forms of words: One pig, two pigs. One sheep, two sheep. One house, two houses. One mouse, two mice. One computer mouse, two computer mouses. Is this a joke? Hoax? And the words: Sing, sang, sung, song! Is it ablaut? Or, is it an assault on the brain? And not to mention the ridicule displayed by some users on social media if the words am, is and are are incorrectly used. For example: You is instead of You are. Or, I is instead of I am. Let’s say a person approached you with a weapon in hand and said, “I is going to kill you”. Would you correct the grammar or make a hasty retreat?


Tah-tah! Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. 

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2020