Dear Millennials: I Refuse to Be Obsolete

How truthful is the phrase: When in Rome, do as the Romans do?
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Hey Millennials! WTF! ‘SUP with D lingo, technology N writing style? Please, allow me 2 introduce myself B4 U ask who the person is.  I am a Baby Boomer N anything U can do a Baby Boomer can do better. That is our mantra :).  U dig! So DYD, for one-minute, underestimate my/our full potential.  Yow! I am LML BC D abbreviations that U use when texting is off D chain…mad fly!  Oh sweat!  LMAO. I have never seen anything like that.  BTW just let me put it out there, somewhere in D universe, that Baby Boomers R familiar with abbreviations 2. We 2 believe in quick ways 2 convey thoughts N information.  It was common assault during my elementary school years 2 learn abbreviations N then quizzed by D class teacher on their meanings.  Some abbreviations spell real words N those R called acronyms.  FYI check D book called First Aid in English which gave me my first taste of abbreviations.  However, please keep in mind that D abbreviations in that book speak integrity which is a far cry from UR WTF N others of such nature.  LOL.  U Millennials really crack me up; if U know what I mean. We have been there N done that. We know D crude stuff 2. We R not innocent N have had a few wild moments in executing texts which include H E 2 STICK, BAS N @#!&%.

Millennials, U may LYAO at D mention of telegram.  WADR I am not insulting UR intelligence but do U know what a telegram is?  Back in D day telegrams were used where phones did not exist.  D messages were shaped with brevity 2 cut cost.  Less words would B less money. For example: Mother low come quick.  I recall D Jamaican women who used 2 take pleasure in sending messages 2 their love interests via telegram.  They enjoyed using cryptogram.  One such lady, over powered by her amorous feelings, resorted 2 D use of D abbreviations seen on D license plate of certain motor vehicles. D abbreviations were CMC (Commercial Motor Carrier) N PPV (Peoples Private Vehicle).  D cryptic manner conveyed otherwise: Come man come (CMC) Pussy Positively Vex (PPV). ROTFLMAO at this TMI.

LOL. B4 going further with this essay, let me pause N give my respect 2 D numbers’ posse that R tantamount 2 D pronunciation of some words.  It’s a pleasure 2 C them 2 incorporated in texts because they also save time N space. They R fly but not as fly as D official shorthand writings known as Greg, Pitman N ABC.  2 me they R D masters of all shorthand writings. Back in D day such shorthand was considered a RASS in D workplace N an important skill among D Baby Boomers who worked as an office clerk or a secretary.  Bosses dictated D contents of a business letter which was taken in shorthand N then accurately typed in Standard English in a jiffy.  Millennials, do U C what I am saying?  Beyond that some PPL who were enticed by this kind of shorthand writing took advantage of it for their personal use just 2 freak D hell out of D ignorant PPL N nosy parkers :) :) :).

 

Millennials, if U should go back in time U would notice that abbreviations N shorthand writing have come full circle.  As for technology it has been around a long time, not today, not yesterday but for a very long time.  I SMH at D way Baby Boomers R viewed when it comes 2 handling advanced technology.  Hey U guys it is only fair 2 say that U were born in an age that lives N breathe technology. Hence, U would B crazy not to master it.  Everything around these days R computer by nature so 2 speak.  I doubt if U even know D correct way to hold N use a pen N pencil.  2 a certain degree, advanced technology has engaged us in touch screen, voice command, electronic signature N all kinds of hullabaloo.

As for GPS we had it long before you had ever dreamt about it.  In D rural area of Jamaica GPS was 2 our beck N call in D form of D insect named Criss Alice. We dug deep in D earth 2 find them, hold them N ask them 2 show us any location or direction 2 a certain place.  This method worked like a charm.  Criss Alice never failed.  It flicked its body 2 D desired request. LMFAO.  Also when it comes 2 voice command, Baby Boomers were in business long before it became an important feature. We practiced for many years shouting in hollow places N across hills N dales where our voices echoed back at us. It wasn’t ET playing games with us. It was D real deal which was improved on later :) :). While I am at this, screw U Siri because I remember D time when I asked U 2 spell D word FUCK N U told me that U do not engage in profanity. Millennials, GMAB!  U may laugh N call us crazy but if U should think about it we were way ahead of our time:).  Trendsetters!  D word out on D street is that Freud was seen as a madman.  So were Chopin N Shakespeare.  Get UR queue from that.  There is no other genre G8R than Baby Boomers. DWL.  Drop MIC. LOL.

Millennials, Baby Boomers have lived through many changes N in context each change is relevant 2 D next. FUTAB.  SSDD. Love under new management :) :) :)  OMG!  Adding 2 that I LMFAO when Baby Boomers like me talk about carbon paper, micro fiche machine, key punch machine, word processer, manual typewriter N U ask what R those things.  GMAB Millennials!  Go easy:).  They were BAE.  They 2 had lived their modern times.  CTFU.  Hearing about Wang computers have a way of freaking U out.  I wish I had a couple 2 taunt U with daily.  DWL.

Hello Millennials, this Baby Boomer is not about dissing U neither B in any competition with U.  D concern is 2 get D word out that Baby Boomers will N can adapt 2 change.  Yes, we can especially if it is a matter of survival.  Given that, it’s about time some PPL STFU N stop saying this N that about Baby Boomers.  Don’t B saying that we R 2 old 2 B tech savvy.  We R like good wine; we improve with age:). Baby Boomers ain’t no child left behind.  HMU anytime.  ICYMI, this Baby Boomer is no slow poke.  FMY, Millennials! I wish that I could list D many reasons, stories N examples why I refuse 2 B obsolete.  I can text just like U.  I can whine like U. I can take shots like U. I can curse like U. I know how 2 scroll D internet N tell those darn cookies 2 piss off N especially spell check which has a mind of its own. 

My dearest Millennials, Baby Boomers R exceptionally marketable just like D wedding rule: something old, something new, something borrowed.  We come with versatility, life experience N long attention spans.  We know how 2 multitask: wash, cook, clean, iron, feed children, run 2 D store… all accomplished in 1 shot while keeping focus.  N that is only 1 of D many ways that we can multitask.  So Millennials, listen 2 me boos, I just KMT when I hear PPL try 2 place Baby Boomers in a corner, expecting them 2 doubt themselves in a world where technology changes like D fashions in D garment industry.  There is a saying in Jamaica which overrides all doubts N fears “If a egg mi in a di red”.  No one can stop us but ourselves.

Tah-tah!   We are never too old to learn.

ABBREVIATION	TRANSLATION
WTF	WHAT THE FUCK
‘SUP	WHAT IS UP
D	THE
N	AND
2	TWO, TOO
B4	BEFORE
U	YOU
DYD	DON’T YOU DARE
LML	LAUGHING MAD LOUD
BC	BECAUSE
LMAO	LAUGHING MY ASS OFF
BTW	BY THE WAY
R	ARE
LOL	LAUGH OUT LOUD
FYI	FOR YOUR INFORMATION
UR	YOUR
HE2STICK	HELL
BAS	BLOUSE AND SKIRT (Jamaican expression)
LYAO	LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF
WADR	WITH ALL DUE RESPECT
ROTFLMAO	ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY ASS OFF
TMI	TOO MUCH INFORMATION
C	SEE
RASS	RELIABLE AND SECURED SYSTEM
PPL	PEOPLE
SMH	SHAKE MY HEAD
LMFAO	LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF
GMAB	GIMME A BREAK, GIVE ME A BREAK
DWL	DYING WITH LAUGH
G8R	GREATER
FUTAB	FEET UP TAKE A BREAK
SSDD	SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY
OMG	OH MY GOD, OH MY GOODNESS
BAE	BEFORE ALL ELSE
CTFU	CRACKING THE FUCK UP
STFU	SHUT THE FUCK UP
HMU	HIT ME UP
FMY	FUCK MY LIFE
ICYMI	IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
BOO	FRIEND

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2016