Friday, August 19, 2016

The Penis as a Pencil…Indelible and Erasable

The penis and the pencil both have points...points with points of interaction.  From another perspective the power of the point can either build, teach or destroy.

Hands up and hands down, the penis is a magical tool.  It ticks, stretches, bends and usually experiences episodes of atrophy. There is whispering about its many labels: grizzle, prick, weapon, tone, willy, pipe, pilley, pencil, stabber and peter. Don’t be too eager to breathe a sigh of relief because there are more labels: injection, wiener, dick, shaft, knife, sausage, joy stick, wood, bruiser and gun.  Remain calm for the next round: candy cane, rod, ruler, cock, corkscrew, cocky, lollipop, pecker, and tickler are among the drop in the bucket.  Given that, can you imagine the private names and the ones used during secret romps?  In all seriousness, why are so many labels attached to the penis?  Is it vying against the king of the jungle?  It’s possible that locale, arrogance, emotion, ruckus, ego, disbelief, hurt and feelings could have led to the labels.  In addition, some of the labels are so highly embraced.  Hence, the audacity to reference deed poll to make a name change certainly would not come as a surprise.  Nevertheless, of all the names given to the penis, there is none quite as amazing and intriguing as pencil.  They are both elongated and are repeat offenders of poking, spotting and touching.  They equally engage in scripts which are indelible and erasable.

The driving force behind the pencil is the lead. Thus, there are designations such as HH, HB, BB to differentiate the hard and soft lead.  More pressure will have to be applied when working with a hard lead.  This is the truth but even so the devil would bemoan the breach created by this choice.  The only ratification in this situation would be the use of a material that is suited with the stamina of an ole turbit.  To clarify that, the Jamaican elders back in the day would lament at the amount of time and heat it took to cook the fish called turbit (turbot).  To them anything or anyone seemingly tough would be referred to as ole turbit.  If a pencil with soft lead is chosen to do work, I cogitate the frustration of having to entertain slipping, rubbing and smearing and the rush to put it back in the desired position.  Coupled with that are the ejection of thoughts which leads to the conclusion that the pencil is not good: Wah happen to it?…It not werking at all…Cyaan bada wid it.  Regardless of the outlook, the soft and hard pencil have their place among clients.  For example, no matter what the quality of the pencil is, a person with the expertise in manipulation would make it function.  Even with this designation, a pencil’s operative and disposition is shady.  From time to time the lead displays a disruptive halt, spent /bruk/pop seconds into doing work, in the middle or half of one second away from achievement. To scream disappointedly is to put it mildly as this warrants nothing short of a premature ejaculation.  In some cases, it is conceivable that the introduction and the trying-out of a pencil on new material can contribute to premature work due to excitement and rush to get the work done.

When working or writing with a pencil it is best to savor the moment as there is beauty in looking at the work we are engaged in.  Put effort in properly holding and operating the pencil.  Do not tap the material with the pencil because this suggests the behavior of a sadist…abusive.  Also, be certain that the pencil is up to par because too often when the pencil is not good, the material usually gets blamed for poor work.  Romance the material with solicitous long statements.  Sentence the material with sweet words. View the material all over.  Brush away a careless flake caused from erasing.  Linger on the dots.  Make them brighter by scouring the area with tender circular motions to avoid punctures. Tickle the material by touching up a letter or two. Be playful about it.  Plus, if you have to chew on the pencil, please be very careful because the possibility of swallowing foreign objects could be detrimental.  Then, there are also times when the pencil operates beyond comprehension. It triggers zombie reactions such as the uttering of strange language, the will to die, screaming, moaning, profanity, promising not to give away the pencil, neither share it.  And most frightening is the repetitious yelling of Jesus and oh God.

The pencil is mightier than the spoken words and this is noticeable in its various colors.  Yellow, white, black and brown are a few from the abundance.  They all function in the same manner and the primary goal is to make an impression.  The pencil also comes in sizes and shapes: long, short, stout, meager, oversize, wide and stump.  If that isn’t exciting, please be informed that according to designers’ likenesses some pencils, to the touch, are smooth whereas some are created with veins. The 4-1-1 never seems to end when it comes to the pencil. As it is, the pencil can also be mechanical, one push or couple twists and the lead rears its head ready for movements.

So far the pencil is a cool tool even when it jots or doodles.  That being the case, it would be interesting to conduct a survey on the performance of the pencils in our society.  Will it be copacetic, so-so, chicken scratch, crab toe, barely there, or good fist?  The chicken-scratch and crab-toe writer does not give an iota about meticulousness, patience, or material satisfaction. The attitude is slam, bam, thank you, moving on to another subject.  Whereas the writer with the good fist gets down to the nitty gritty, not missing a step when engaged in cursive writing.  The proper formation of letters and chiefly the expertise in the light and heavy strokes can be seen in the letters with loops.  The dotted… i… and the crossed… t… are vastly imperative as these demonstrate attention to details.  A carpenter, working on any material, uses a pencil to make points of contact before getting into details.  An artist maneuvers the pencil to exercise details.

To leave any stone unturned about the pencil would be a sham. It is expected that everyone needs a pencil that is a winner.  One that works well.  However, particular attention should be paid to the measurements.  Already, in some cases, the build can pose threat in the procurement of a good grasp as much as a tussle between quantity, savings and quality.  Some people are addicted to pencil, any kind of pencil.  Some will go out of their way to find a good working one or even pay big bucks to get one.  Is there failure in doing so?  To dabble in opinion, the most expensive pencils or the good-looking pencils are not necessarily faithful.  They are flaccid and dry, perhaps an oversight by quality control or a deliberate act in allowing them to slip through the cracks.  Now and then, the better deal is with the pencils that are a dime a dozen.

 Remember a good pencil is elusive; the idea is to groom a low-cost one, making it to be the ultimate tool.

Tah-tah!   Choose wisely.

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright © 2016

Disclaimer:  This article was not written to inveigle anyone into using the pencil to stimulate or appease sexual appetite.  Please refrain from placing it in the orifices on the body. Doing so could result in bodily harm. Should you indulge, you will be doing so at your own risk.

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