From Spiritual Abuse to Unshakeable Freedom: A Journey of Reclaiming My Worth

Aging comes with fresh eyes and wisdom.

For a long time, I lived inside a fortress built by other people’s fears. As a child, religion was not a sanctuary; it was a cage of eggshells and invisible tripwires. I was taught a fragile spirituality, one where the most innocent, human pieces of myself were weighed on a scale of cosmic damnation. Manipulation was dressed up as divinity. Threats like "the blood of Jesus is on you" were weaponized to inject a crippling, holy fear into my bones, designed to keep me small, guilty, and entirely at the beck and call of those who demanded the center stage.

Through that painful experience, I learned a profound truth:

"Manipulation isn’t synonymous with change. It is a way to bully people into believing they are not worthy."

But chains, no matter how holy they claim to be, are still chains.

My awakening did not happen in a single thunderclap, but through the slow, steady awakening of my own mind. Critical thinking became my quiet rebellion. I began to look at the grand contradictions of the world with clear, wide-open eyes. I realized that a system requiring me to break my own spirit just to keep someone else's ego fed was not truth—it was spiritual abuse. The terrifying phrases that used to grip my heart lost their supernatural gravity; today, the weaponized wine is just grape juice, and the shouting voices are just noise in the wind.

Now, I understand the profound power of silence. When manipulative people bring their antics, looking for the fuel of my reaction, I hand them my quietness. Let them believe they have the upper hand. Let them bask in their unearned praise and grand appearances. My silence isn’t passivity; it is a fortress. It is the ultimate boundary of a person who finally knows exactly who they are.

Today, the chains are down. They are completely gone. I have reclaimed my spirituality on my own terms, deep and unshakeable. Nobody else gets to define my worth, my future, or my connection to the universe. I am thinking deeper, questioning everything, and standing firmly in the brilliant light of my own independence. I am finally, truly, wide awake.

Tah-Tah! We see things with fresh eyes as we grow older.

Grace Dunkley-Asphall, Copyright ©️ 2026